The Confidence Code: Elevate Your Career with Rosie Zilinskas

Speaker A: 00:00:40

Well, hello, everybody, and welcome to another amazing episode of Unstoppable Success. I'm your host, JaclynStrominger.

And as you know, on this podcast, we hear from amazing leaders and professionals out in the world who actually help us find out how they have had unstoppable success, and they share their tips and insights so that you can have unstoppable success. And today I am going to tell you I have a phenomenal guest. Her name is Rosie Zilinskas, and she is a career empowerment expert.

She's a keynote speaker and the founder of no Woman Left behind. With over 30 years of corporate leadership experience, Rosie now helps professional women rise with confidence and clarity.

She's a certified high performance career coach.

She's the host of no Woman Left behind podcasts and the creator of the custom career Roadmap, a transformative coaching program that blends AI tools with executive level strategy. And she has a signature talk, unlock the Leader Within. I love that because, as you know, I always talk about being the CEO of ourselves.

And Rosie equips women to stop sabotaging their success and start campaigning for their careers. Her mission, Close the advancement gap and amplify women's voices in leadership. I love it. So welcome, Rosie.

All right, so, okay, so a couple things, you know, in the corporate world, like how, you know, how many times have you seen that woman who, who probably has. Has all of the goods but doesn't know how to use them? I feel like I'm just speaking from, like, you know, Legally Blonde.

Speaker B: 00:02:30

Well, Declan, thank you. First of all, thank you so much for having me. I'm really excited to be talking to you.

I know that you've had some incredible guests, so I am happy to be part of that list now. But, yes, I have seen so many women hold themselves back over and over and over. And like you mentioned, they're doing the hard work.

They have the skills, they have the knowledge.

But one common thread that I have seen over and over is that they can't articulate how they use their skills and they and their knowledge to make an impact in the organization. And if you're not able to connect those two dots, that's when you're passed over for promotions and raises.

Speaker A: 00:03:18

You know, you said that word articulate, you know, there. And I, I want to say, how do you share articulate what they can do with? Compare that to being boastful.

Speaker B: 00:03:38

Well, being boastful is just saying, you know, well, I did this. I did this great project.

Articulating means taking all of your accomplishments and being Able to put some kind of metric or way that you're making an impact to your team, your organization, and being able to easily explain that to people.

So a lot of times when, when women are wanting to talk to their manager about getting a raise or applying for a promotion or a job, one of the things that we work on is their story vault.

So taking all of those accomplishments and being able to break them down into what was the problem, the action and the solution, and easily being able to showcase each of those accomplishments with an impact so that they're able to. And it's also, how are they helping solve problems through their knowledge and skills in their organization.

So when you're constantly telling your manager, you know what, I can help you solve this problem, or let me take that off your plate, that's when you become really valuable. And articulating is very different than being boastful.

Boastful is you're just showing off, but articulating is you're making again, that connection of your skills, your knowledge, and your value to the impact in the organization and then solving problems for your manager and the company.

Speaker A: 00:05:03

Yep. And, yeah, and I, and I love that. And the reason I was asking that question was because I think so many times people think that they're the same.

Speaker B: 00:05:10

Right.

Speaker A: 00:05:11

And they're not.

And you need to promote yourself and share your wins not just with your friends and family and members at home, but, you know, create that excitement. Like, if you did something that was super, that you're super proud of, like, share that with them, like with your. The upper management.

Like, I am so psyched up that, that we. And I was part of blah or that I helped do this. Like, it's, it's not being boastful, but it's, it's promoting yourself. And I think that's.

And I think that's why I want to. Because I was like, oh, my. Like, because you said, like, articulating. And it's like. And it's.

So it's, it is, it's sharing and sharing what we have done and not to be ashamed of it.

Speaker B: 00:06:07

Yes. And another part of that is a second piece to that once you know what you're.

What you're going to share is the second piece that is crafting your script. Like, what words are you going to use? How are you going to present it?

And it's one of those things that the more you're able to learn about who you are and what value you bring. Because a lot of times, like, women get sucked. Like, well, I don't know what I do. I don't know how to contribute.

And that's where the gaps are, and those are the gaps that I help fill.

Speaker A: 00:06:37

Right. I love that. I really love that. So kind of going back, you spent time in corporate. What made you make that transition?

Speaker B: 00:06:48

Well, okay, so I was in corporate. I was the executive vice president for learning and development. And to your point, I. We onboarded a lot of college graduates as new hires.

So full time new hires. And it was for five years in a row. I saw that the very first day of class. It was the young men that were asking and answering questions first.

And the young women were either shy or didn't ask anything or waited. And when I, the first time that I noticed, I was like, oh, that's interesting. But the second time, I'm like, oh, no.

So I started pulling the young women aside and talking to them about being able to talk about. First of all, ask and answer a question if you have a question. Ask the question if you need to clarify something. But it's, you know, and you've.

I know you've talked about this like a million times, but we have been taught to just be quiet and look pretty and follow directions.

And it is, I think now is such an exciting time in history because a lot of women like you and me and all the people that we interview, we're all kind of.

I feel like we're all kind of pushing together collectively to teach young girls, young women, you know, because one of the things that I've discovered is that confidence peaks at age 9.

And so when you don't work on confidence throughout your whole life and parents have a lot to do with that, then by the time we just expect our young women to be able to walk into the corporate world and be able to speak up for themselves. And so that's one of the reasons why, when I was in the corporate world, I started my podcast and actually I started volunteering.

First I went to Dress for Success, which is an organization that helps women, like, kind of transition in life.

And then I started doing some volunteer coaching and I was like, oh, my gosh, this is, this is really something that is needed for women, especially, I mean, in all businesses, but especially in the corporate world because you're just a number and sometimes there's such large organizations that you have. So two years ago, and I was actually kind of putting it out there into the universe to, you know, be laid off.

And I was laid off two years ago, and it was the perfect time. I had already been doing you know, my side hustle for like three years and I'm like, okay, this is, it's time now to go full, full time.

But I am so passionate about helping women discover their worth and their value. And I know one of the episodes, I think it was a TED Lasso episode or the. Yeah. They were talking about core values. Yeah.

And they were talking about core values. And it's like, that is. They are, they are spot on.

Because if you don't know what you believe in and what you want for yourself, how are you going to be able to explain that to anybody else? And that's, that's where, you know that word articulating and being able to connect the dots. That's where, where, where I come in.

Because a lot of times women don't know how to craft their script to be able to present, you know, the, their, their value.

Speaker A: 00:10:10

Yeah. And I love that you, you brought that up about your values. Because I think listeners, I think this is, you know, man, woman, you need to know this.

You need to know your core values that matter so much to you and that you have to align it with the company and the corporation that you are working with and vice versa.

Like, if you're on, on the hiring side, the people that you're bringing on need to embody the core values that you have for yourself and your company and the core.

And I, and I've said this before too, but the core values that you have for you should not be dramatically different than the core values that you have for your company. And, and vice versa, like if you're working someplace, it should not be very different from your.

Because when it does, then you're doing this, you're budding. Right. So I'm so glad that you brought that up.

So if you don't know your core values, women, men, connect so that we can help you with those core values. Right. Because it's so important. Yeah.

It just, it, it actually, it's, it's one of those things that I almost wish that, that they taught in college, like know your core values. Right?

Speaker B: 00:11:24

Yes. Yes. Totally agree.

Speaker A: 00:11:29

So, you know, when we have that and as you're working with.

And when you're working with women, you know, and you notice that they haven't, maybe they don't, you know, maybe they, you work with them on their core values. But how do you help them, you know, maintain that confidence? Right.

Because, you know, what's coming to my mind is like, you know, it's like the, and I tell my, I tell my daughter this all the time. And women, if you're listening to this, stop saying this word. Stop saying sorry. But yes, right, yeah, I'm sorry. No, you're not.

You didn't do anything.

Speaker B: 00:12:08

Right.

Speaker A: 00:12:09

How do you help them maintain that confidence?

Speaker B: 00:12:12

Well, okay, so first of all, we have to build the confidence, right? So before we're able to maintain, we always have to build it.

And so with the custom career roadmap I had that you had mentioned my intro, it is a series of tactical steps.

So yes, it's the Resume and the LinkedIn those, those pieces, but it's that story vault and it's that crafting your script and being able to showcase your value to other people the way we've talked about.

But it is understanding your core values and having your quote, unquote, the old elevator speech, but in a way that you show how you help the organization and more you work on all of those. And there's a lot more steps to that. But the more you're able to work on one piece of that puzzle at a time, the more you gain confidence.

So I always tell them it's like a parallel, because women have come to me and they're like, rosie, please help me gain confidence so that I can advocate for myself. I'm like, well, it's not either or like, I will help you prepare. And as we're preparing, you're gaining confidence. So it's a parallel.

And once you that knowing, then that confidence just innately stays with you. Because now you know that the way you gain confidence is by knowing yourself, understanding yourself, and how you can explain that impact.

So when you are able to understand that preparation is key. You know, in real estate, they always say location, location, location. And in career development, I always say preparation, preparation, preparation.

And the more you prepare, the more you are able to gain that confidence. And that's when you don't. You're not as shy to be visible, to go out and do a training, to do a conversation, to do networking or whatever.

I started speaking journey in: 2019

And now that new oncoming students are coming in and I'm the dean, I'm like, I wish I could just transfer all the knowledge from my head to your head because it would be so much easier but the fact of the matter is that you have to go through your own journey. And even. And you will know this as an entrepreneur, you cannot laminate anything, because we evolve, we grow.

We understand more about our knowledge, our expertise, our craft. So you. You're constantly evolving and growing. And women in the corporate world have to discover their own journey.

They have to discover how they can make an impact and understand themselves. So, I mean, I could go on and on and on, Jacqueline.

Speaker A: 00:15:24

No, but it's. So, it's. It's really important.

I, you know, I think something that, you know, you know, as they work in parallel together, because it's true, you know, the. To advocate for yourself and to gain confidence or gain confidence to advocate for yourself.

And in part, all of that also comes with knowing and finding your voice. Yes. Right. You have to know your voice. And you know, the person who speaks like this, you know, what did you say? Like, no, like. Right.

You know, and if. And listeners, if you couldn't hear what I was saying, because you. You couldn't because I was whispering, because I had, like, if you don't have.

Not that you have to have, like, a super powerful voice, but you do need to speak up. You do need to use your voice.

And I think that's, like, as you're talking, like, that's also one of the things that, you know, confidence, advocate, and know your voice.

Speaker B: 00:16:27

Absolutely.

And just another little thing that I always like to bring up, Jacqueline, which is so easy and simple, is just having that strong, confident handshake. You know, I. I think it's always so interesting to me. Yes. Like the. The dead fish.

I just went to a networking event, and this is a networking event of all CEOs or owners of their own business.

And you know how many handshakes I shook, both men and women, by the way, that it's kind of like the dead fish, or you can barely, like, they barely give you, like, the tips of the fingers. And I always. When my kids were growing up, I.

And I actually have to go back when I was in high school, I did this manpower kind of course or event or whatever. I don't even remember. And they taught us how to shake hands. And so ever since then, I always have a strong, confident handshake.

And that right there exudes so much confidence transference, because what that tells me is that you are not confident enough to shake somebody's hand with a firm, comfortable handshake for two seconds. And that says a lot about yourself. So the way that you just said, you know, that Meek voice.

Speaker A: 00:17:40

It is.

Speaker B: 00:17:41

It's the little things that make a big impact.

Speaker A: 00:17:45

Yeah. And I love that you brought up handshake, because it is so true that if I shake.

If I'm at a network event and I shake somebody's hand, and it's not like. I mean, I don't want them to, like, break my hand, but if it's not a firm shake, I. I look at them and I'm like, oh, you need some work.

Speaker B: 00:18:06

Yeah. Isn't it so incredible that. And it's funny. I'll have to tell you a little personal story. When my daughter.

My daughter's 24 now, but when she started dating and she would introduce her boyfriends to me, like, they would. I would always, like, go and shake their hands, and it was always a good, strong form handshake.

And it was years later that she told me that she would warn them that I expected a strong form handshake.

Speaker A: 00:18:33

Well, that's so funny because. Well, I'm like, she.

She shouldn't have worn them, because then that would have been a telltale sign whether or not they were actually, like, you know, like, how they actually are as a person in some way. Like, that's so funny. Oh, my God. That is. But you know what it is? It's like those lessons that you teach, you know?

And I remember somebody saying this to me once, that your hands make a first impression. And I mean, I'm gonna. And I'll say, like, when I was in high school, I used to bite my nails, right? Like, I mean, and had no confidence.

Like, I was like the most insecure human being on the face of the planet. And it took, you know, years of working at it. Right. But when somebody said that to me about my hands, it was like that.

That mental note, I stopped biting my nails. It was like, oh, okay. And I remember shaking somebody's hand and make. Oh, I don't want to be embarrassed.

Speaker B: 00:19:34

Right.

Speaker A: 00:19:37

You know, And. And I will also say, like, I have to say, and I'm a firm believer, like, your. Your values, but also how you show up and present.

I'm sure you talk to your clients about this. You know, you don't have to spend thousands of dollars on a great suit, but you have to feel confident in.

In your skin and in the clothes that you have on your back.

Speaker B: 00:20:01

Absolutely, Absolutely. I love everything that you just said.

Speaker A: 00:20:05

But. But it's interesting, too. Like, I. I find, like, as you're working with people and you're talking about being that leader, right?

You know, you get their Core values. What do you do after that? Like, how do you help them stay that leader of themselves?

Speaker B: 00:20:24

Well, okay, so I always start with that custom career roadmap because that's, again, it's very tactical, and that's where you really learn how to gain that confidence. When I'm working with clients that want to maintain or stand out or elevate, then we switch to high performance coaching.

And with high performance coaching, what I usually do, it's like 12 different sessions with 12 different topics. And so each topic, it's almost like a discovery conversation, every single topic.

So we'll talk about clarity, energy, influence, persuasion, productivity. And with each one of those topics, I ask a series of questions.

And based on, they could say, so for example, I was talking to a woman and she said, my little job. And I was like, okay, stop. Let's talk about why did you say little? And she didn't even realize that she said little job.

And we had a whole conversation.

So sometimes I have, I always have like a series of six or eight questions, and for that one, we spent pretty much the rest of the conversation talking on that one thing. So it's the old, the old, you know, quote or, or phrase that we use, like peeling back the onion. I.

And So I have 48 different topics, so I could go on for an entire year with a client. And we will never repeat the same topic. And it's. So the next session of.

So those are like the core values starting, and then the next session are the charge. And we talk about your life and caring and competency and things like that.

So that's how we keep, or I keep people in that elevation, constantly elevating their knowledge about themselves. And it's never ending, as you well know, with personal development. It's not just a once and done. You know, you could be.

You could have dealt with something and then it pops up again and you have to deal with it or discover it again. So it's just a constant development.

Speaker A: 00:22:39

Yep. And I'm glad that you just said that. It comes back again. I want you to understand, like listeners, that's a huge thing.

You know, things that we work on, they don't go away. They're still here. And it's part of the journey.

Speaker B: 00:22:56

Mm, yes, absolutely, absolutely. And, and this will be a little bit of a tangent, but I do a lot of meditation and energy work.

And, you know, through energy work, you do, you know, healing of, you know, your different situations in your life. And it's so interesting because sometimes you think that you've already done. You're done with that situation with your sister or brother or whatever.

You're like, okay, it's done. You know, I'm good with it. And then some little thing happens and you're like, darn it, now I have to work on that again. So part.

I do a lot of meditation. Joe Dispenza meditation. So that's. That's part of my work. I don't necessarily do that with my clients, but I do talk about they.

They need to feel their feelings to be able to elevate to the next level.

Speaker A: 00:23:40

Yeah. And it's. It's funny, you know, because sometimes you don't realize what something is going to be the trigger.

You think that you're done with that trigger, or you think that you're done with, you know, with that demon or, or, you know, in. In there. But it's. It comes back to haunt us, and we need to actually, you know, sort of look at that again. So, so, so for.

For our listeners, I mean, I. I love this. You know, if you had to say to somebody, if you are.

If you are not feeling that confidence and you need to elevate yourself or find that voice, what are the top three things that you would suggest that they start with?

Speaker B: 00:24:22

Well, okay, so I'm going to kind of go back to a story, and you.

You had kind of asked me this, and I didn't, like, fully answer it, but I started my journey when I was 40 years the corporate world, and I was already a high performer. I had gone through this terrible divorce. All that was done, I was able to focus on. On my job.

And then I ended up with being the sole custodian for my two little kids. So I needed to make more money. And the only way that I knew how to do that was to get promoted. I'm like, okay, how can I get promoted?

So I started working on myself and. And then once I was a high performer, I noticed that younger people than I, that had been there less time were getting promoted.

I'm like, what the heck is going on? And so I finally went and I spoke to one of the executives, and I said, hey, I'm interested in, you know, moving into leadership.

And they said, really? And I said, yeah, really? What do you mean, really? I'm a high performer. And they're like, you never said anything.

And those four words are part of my signature talk because they were transformed formative words. So one of the first things that you can start doing. And by the way, I got promoted.

So the rest of the, the story is that I got promoted within like three or four months from there. And then I stepped into management and then it took me about three years to get a really good footing on the job.

And then at three years I started campaigning for me. I started doing, working on myself.

I started talking to all the senior executives and saying, hey, you know what, I, I'm interested in doing something bigger. I don't know what it is, but how did you do your journey and what advice can you give me? So that's one thing.

Speaker A: 00:26:06

Ask, ask, ask. Sorry, I don't mean to be like. But that's like, but that is so important. That is so, so important. I mean, I'm just going to go back.

When you said that, that that executive said to you, you never said anything, is that meaning that you never said where you wanted to go or that because you didn't know what you wanted in a career and you never offer that you wanted more?

Speaker B: 00:26:30

Well, my assumption was that they would just notice my hard work.

And I literally thought I'm like, okay, I'm a high performer, I'm backing up my team, I'm training people, I know the system, I'm a go to person that right there is going to get me a promotion. And I just assumed that my work would speak for itself.

And when he said you never said anything is because I never intentionally said something to my manager, the senior manager, whatever, that I was interested in stepping into leadership. And so that was, that was like an eye opening experience for me because then the next time around I started telling everybody.

So that's why I say I started campaigning for me. So some of the things that I did is I started literally I went to the library, I looked at all these different resources.

There's a wonderful book that they publish every single year. It's called what color is your parachute? And I did every single exercise in that book.

I had my brother in law interview me, my sister interview me, so on and so forth. So three things that I would say people can do. First of all, figure out what you really want and share that with your leadership team.

Not just your manager, but the leadership team. The second two are going to be kind of what I said already.

One is try to network with senior leaders in your organization and ask them how did you do it and what advice can you give me.

And then the third one is meet with five or six of your peers and say, you know what, I'm trying to develop myself, I give you permission to be honest. What do I do well and what can I do better?

And what those three things do is they start helping you see yourself from the eyes and the perspective of other people. And then you know what to work on.

Because if you don't do these interviews or these inquiry conversations, then how are you going to know where to begin? Like, it's, it's impossible for you to see yourself the way other people see you. So that's, that's where I would start.

Speaker A: 00:28:54

I absolutely love that. And one thing that I want you to listeners, you know, really take away from this, there's two things. Number one is ask and talk to people.

And if it's, and if you're having a hard time with the leadership within your own company, ask other leaders in a. Outside of it. It's one of the greatest things that I think about LinkedIn.

If you haven't, or other people that, you know, go to, you know, go find those people. And I love what you said. You know, again, also talking to other people, the five to six people to ask them what, what your good, bad and ugly is.

Right. Because you're, you're Matt, your direct manager.

Hopefully you've had reviews and have some kind of constructive criticism or constructive conversations. But they are only one person with one, with obviously with two eyes.

They only, they see you one way and that might be great, or it might be that the person's an ass and could be completely, you know, terrified of you or what, I don't know, you know, whatever that, you know, verbiage. And so asking other people that are your peers is so important.

Speaker B: 00:30:19

Yeah.

And actually, I want to bring up when I was, you know, when I was 40 years old and I was like, speaking to a senior leadership, I'm certain that I had said to my direct manager, hey, I want to be considered for, for leadership. But the gentleman that I had lunch with, it was my boss's boss's boss. So it was two levels above from my manager.

And once I had a conversation with him, that's when things happened. So it's very important for you to, like you said, be able to disseminate that message, to tell as many people as you can, what are you interested in?

But it kind of goes back to knowing yourself. What do you want? What is it that you're striving for in that company? And if you're not engaged in that company, having a conversation. Yeah.

If you're not engaged in your job, having a conversation with your manager, say, okay, what can I do? How can I be excited and engaged in the job that I'm doing. So there is so much that people can do to, to advance in their careers. Yes.

Speaker A: 00:31:24

And I actually want, I think, something that's also really important.

I don't think going to your, your direct reports, boss's boss is not going over their head when you're having an informational interview or informational conversation about, hey, I want to, you know, me saying, you know, if I'm talking or walking up to two UP and I say, hey Joe, I'd love to have, you know, get some of your time. Could we either have coffee or lunch?

I want to talk, you know, I'd love to talk to you about how you got where you are, your career path and, and, and, and the company and where I see myself.

Speaker B: 00:32:05

I mean, absolutely.

Speaker A: 00:32:08

People, it's, you're, you're not doing something behind your manager's back, you're doing it. So as a, it's, it's all about the company and if they're all team players, it should not matter.

Speaker B: 00:32:22

Exactly.

Speaker A: 00:32:22

Yeah.

Speaker B: 00:32:23

And I told my manager and my manager's manager knew, so they were all on board and they encouraged us. You know, like, they, what do they say?

Like skip, skip seniority lunch or whatever, you know, where you skip, you know, from your boss to their boss or whatever. But yeah, to your point, it shouldn't be a big deal that you talk to the other senior leaders at all.

Speaker A: 00:32:42

Right? Yeah.

And I think that's, I think it's really important and if it, if it, if that is a problem, that's a flag, just to let you know, I think that's a flag.

Speaker B: 00:32:51

Agreed.

Speaker A: 00:32:52

Right.

So, so Rosie, you have, so I mean, obviously we could talk so many for hours about this because I think, you know, confidence is so important with, with women and, and, and, and, and men in the workplace, but you know, obviously women there. I feel like we're on this like cusp of extra greatness.

But how can our listeners learn more about you, what you offer, connect with you and take advantage of what you offer.

Speaker B: 00:33:20

Yeah, thank you for that. So the easiest way is just to go on my website. My website is no Woman Left behind and woman is W O M a n no Woman Left behind dot com.

And I do have, right on there. I do have a link to take a promotion readiness quiz and that kind of goes along with the custom career roadmap.

And it's so interesting because a lot of times what I tell, and I also have a membership, so I tell my members, you know, through this promotion, you know, readiness quiz, you'll Kind of figure out what you need to start working on. But I want people, women, to be promotion ready. So if that big job opportunity opens up, I don't want you to be scrambling, oh, my gosh.

I have to update my resume and I have to figure out what to say, you know, on the interview. I want you to be promotion ready.

And by doing the, the custom career roadmap, you will be promotion ready and you will be a candidate that is super prepared. Obviously, I can never guarantee that you're going to get a job, but I can guarantee that you're going to be ultra prepared for that interview.

Speaker A: 00:34:25

Right. That's awesome. All right, so listeners, do me the favor, go to Rosie's website.

I will have the link to that in the show notes here, but please go to her. Go to her website, connect with her. She's doing amazing things here and helping women just soar. And men, you can take tips from this, too, trust me.

So do me the favor again, connect with Rosie and then please do me the favor and share this episode with a friend or a colleague who you think actually could learn from this. Because if we can help other people be more confident and help them get that next promotion, we're doing something really good.

And then also hit subscribe because we want to make sure that you get all the great episodes of Unstoppable Success. I'm your host, JaclynSchumer, and thank you, Rosie, for being an amazing guest and thank you, listeners, for tuning in.

Speaker B: 00:35:17

Thank you.